amitabh jotwani

Rohil, my 8 year old nephew has made it to Google search results and made it in a way that would make his parents and us all very proud! A Google search on “Rohil Kishinchandani” reveals this article on Andheri West, a subsidiary of The Times of India.

As part of a creative writing effort conducted by the Times of India, Mumbai, he wrote an essay that was witty yet honest to the core on the topic “Thank God animals can’t talk!“. Here’s what he wrote to get the recognition on the Times of India website. Good going Rohil, keep it up!

—

Thank God animals can’t talk!
Rohil Kishinchandani
(8 years old), Jamnabai Narsee School, Juhu

I have often wondered what it would be like if animals could talk. My imagination has often run wild on this topic with me ending up rolling with laughter.

If animals could talk, I am sure they would have a lot of nasty things to say to us humans.

The dog in my building would scowl at me, “Hey you little skinny boy, why do you scream your lungs out the moment you see me? I know dogs like bones, but they like it with a little meat on them!”

“And tell me, why do you screw up your nose in that funny way, when you see me do my poo? Don’t you too??”

Imagine if those hens could speak, the hens I watch every Sunday being cut, when I go with my dad to buy chicken. “Help, help! Save us. Don’t cut us please, don’t eat us, please. Even we have little children at home. I curse you that one day somebody will eat your parents’ up too.” I think I’ll turn vegetarian out of fear!

And, imagine if that little bird, who sits on my windowsill everyday could speak, she would laugh wickedly and say, “Twik twik, give me some grains quick-quick, or I will tell your friends what I see everyday as you change.” I’ll die of embarrassment!!

And, what about those pesky little rats? If they could talk, they would puff up their chests with pride and say, “We are tiny, but the most wanted and dreaded creatures. Even the BMC has put a reward of Rs 5/- on our head. Come on humans, come and get us!” And then laughing, they would scurry away into their holes.

Actually, if animals could talk, even I would want to ask them a thing or two. “Don’t you feel embarrassed walking the streets naked? Why do you smell each other’s butts? Why are dogs obsessed with cars – running and barking behind cars and peeing on tyres? Don’t you crows look down before you do your big ‘plop’ job on our head? How do you ants find the chocolate hidden deep into my drawer?”

Come to think of it, I am rather glad that animals can’t talk. The crow would otherwise tell my mother, how I feed him food from my tiffin box, the cockroach in the kitchen would tell her how I steal cookies, my pet dog would tell her that I don’t polish my shoes but make him lick them, the lizard in the bathroom would let on that I just wet the brush at night and put it away to fool Mom.

They sure would have made my life miserable and very difficult. Thank God animals can’t talk!

Tagged: family, life